“I am right and you are wrong”! The constant conflict between people. A conflict that goes nowhere and the only result is upheaval and often, relationship breakdowns.
The following fact is extremely important and applies both in the workplace and in the social and family environment of a person.
Each and every one of us wants to feel and have the acceptance that we are RIGHT!
Because, Right = Acceptable.
The person feels happy because they are allowed to be themselves!
And someone comes along at a given moment and gets the person WRONG! She says, “You’re wrong!” or “I’ll prove you wrong,” etc. Then the person is cancelled.
Because WRONG = unacceptable.
The person feels bad and unhappy because they are not allowed to be themselves!
This is a situation that helps neither the critic nor the criticizer. And the reason is this:
Every person, in whatever he does, wants to feel that he is right and accepted. But as soon as someone proves him wrong, something in him reverses and he tries to prove reactively that he is right “by making the same mistakes”. This is a mental circuit.
For example:
Someone criticizes his child for choosing the wrong mate, and he marries, because unconsciously, he doesn’t want it to turn out wrong. Or, someone compares his children and urges the worst one to become like his best brother and it gets even worse. And what’s worse, the parent continues to criticize it, making the situation unbearable for both of them.
Or Manager criticizing Junior, “You’re not doing anything right” and so on.
And certainly not to mention more heavy-handed labels such as “idiot”, “moron”, etc. And this is the explanation of why under critical people people people make the most mistakes, despite constant corrections. Simple! Reactively and unconsciously trying to prove their correctness through their mistakes.
Yes, but how do we correct a person who is wrong?
The way is as follows:
REQUIRED:
To say “You are wrong” and other similar expressions directly addressed to the person himself, because in this case we will have the above unpleasant results.
REQUIRED:
“This needs correction”, “This is not right”, etc. In this way we do not touch his spiritual substance at all, but direct his attention to the inanimate energy or object. And in this case the person is willing to correct it. Otherwise we will have people next to us who are constantly making mistakes and we will be overwhelmed by corrective actions that should have been done correctly by others. And this is one of the biggest traps that man has created and fallen into himself!
So by following this rule, we result in better interpersonal relationships and people who are happier and can face life with strength, optimism and without unnecessary and ugly “labels”. It is certainly not always easy, but by trying it can be a way of a better life for everyone!
Katerina Karadima
